I was laying there in bed holding my new sweet girl. I was alone, twenty and a new mom. I had to pee and was in so much pain. I didn’t know what to do. I pushed the button.
“Yes, can I help you?”
“Umm yes, I have to use the restroom.”
“Did you need help?”
“No I just don’t know what to do with my baby.”
I’m certain the nurses at on the other end of the intercom either a. laughed hysterically at me or 2. shook their heads and murmured, “Bless her heart.”
I pulled myself up and put her in the clear plastic bassinet. I waddled to the restroom, pulling her behind me. “don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry.”
She had never been alone. Not for a minute. She was with me for nine months and in the nursery, and now I was not going to be the one to leave her. She had to pee with me. That’s just all there was to it. And if she cried while I was peeing, I have no idea what I would do.
But we made it, we made it through the first night in the hospital, and learning to breastfeed. We made it through the hours I watched her sleep and periodically poked her to make sure she was alive. We made it through a new brother, and the loss of a family because of divorce. We made it through a new family, with new siblings. We made it through moving and tears from stupid boys. We made it through the trauma of leaving friends, and the disappointment of new schools.
And we will make it through when she leaves in two weeks to start a new life, at a college, with new friends, and new rhythms.
I’m embracing this relationship thing. This humanity thing. How changing our lives can be but our connections remain. God told us about new seasons, and to live in expectancy of them. In watching Jesus’ life, he had ever changing relationships. And still does. One day you seek after Him, the next you fail to acknowledge him.
Humanity is about this, changing relationship thing. As our relationships transform, we are forced to as well. Sometimes I wonder if what we struggle with the most in the changing of ourselves. Wondering if we are strong enough, courageous enough to make it through.
That’s why we need a constant, a ‘never changing’. That’s why we need that thing that no matter what relationships come or go….
- the marriage
- the girlfriend who ditches you
- the death of a parent
- the sister who just wont’ talk to you
- how she just doesn’t look at you the same anymore
- how he just doesn’t want to be best friends with his mom
- the business partner that betrays you
- the daughter who leaves for college
He will be that constant, the forever, unchanging…the timelessly faithful. God knew this humanity he created would be always transforming, so He himself forever remains. Be courageous, when everything changes, He is there.