Sunday I sat on the couch watching over privileged, pretentious actors tell each other how amazing they are over food and drinks that cost so much it most likely could have fed the entire population of hungry and homeless of the entire GLOBE. Hence the name: Golden Globes. I was not impressed by their hidden LGBT agenda, or their super shiny foreheads, but I did enjoy some of speeches. One in particular struck me.
George Clooney received a lifetime achievement award. His eyes teared, yours perhaps could, too. Or maybe not.
It dawned on me that there is something to be said about the appreciation of marriage as we grow older. I’m not certain Clooney would have even publicly expressed his love in such a way to a wife at 30, or even 40 years old. At 53, Clooney appreciates his role as husband. It seems he embraces the feeling and choice to love.
Michael and I are working on our twelfth year of marriage. Only in the last two years have I truly grown to respect the covenant of marriage. Besides this roller coaster we ride called
hell LIFE that has taken him and I up and down and then back up and then back down, it has been my age, my mistakes and God-given wisdom that gives me my new outlook.
Marriage is hard, people. So very hard. Hard enough that half of the people who decide to do it, bail out. And then there are the group of people who don’t even dare try.
Tom Hanks as Coach Jimmy Dugan said it best in the movie A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN:
There’s no crying in baseball!
Yah, that was a very. important. statement, by the way.( There is absolutely NO crying in baseball.)
But when Geena Davis’ character Dottie is leaving the team, she explains to her coach:
“It just got too hard.”
And Coach replied:
” It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard… is what makes it great.”
We all want great marriages. We want to be the Proverbs 31 wife, and our husbands to flawlessly transition from provider to husband to father. We wish we had Clooney’s money because we are tired of being behind on bills, and let’s not even talk about how our kids have outgrown every piece of clothing we bought a few months ago, all $400 of them. We want our co-workers, and fellow MOPS moms to sit around and clap and give us awards so we can tell millions of people how grateful we are for our love and our chemistry that happened after waiting a lifetime for the right person and Praise God, we made the right choice and there is no looking back.
LBR (Let’s Be Real)
It just doesn’t work like that. Because…
Marriage is hard.
But when we do have those moments, those brief exhales when we can look around at our unbathed kids as they giggle at their dad’s crude jokes, and there isn’t one thing on the living room floor, and it is the day you washed your hair, we have our own version of greatness. Embracing those simple, fleeting moments is what gets us through the hard, and is what will make us great. Embracing great moments needs to be enough to fuel us through the hard.
Because your husband may never do a load of laundry for you…
Or know exactly what that squint of your eyes actually means…
or be able to talk to you for two hours starting the second he walks in the door from work.
Your wife might not always have every single dish put away…
or know why she’s crying…..
or understand the burden you carry every day.
But each of you have the possibility of greatness, within your marriage. Embrace it, and love it–like you’re a 53 year old Clooney.
LG | LP