A few months ago Michael and I bought a new-to-us Suburban. We got an amazing deal on it, but it was dirty inside and out. Not just dirty, but filthy. It was disgustingly abused, neglected F.I.L.T.H.Y. The truck was worth the deal and so it wasn’t too painful to pay a bit to have it cleaned. Even the guy who scrubbed, shampooed and vacuumed my new wheels told me how filthy my truck was. Even though it was my truck, it wasn’t my filth. I was simply cleaning up someone else’s mess.
Last week during my cleaning frenzy I was polishing the inside of my truck and I immediately started to blame the previous owners for the cracker trail under the backseat. I caught myself. I couldn’t.
At some point, we have to take responsibility for our own mess. Even when we want to blame the previous owners–mom, dad, grandparents, ex-spouses–something tells us, we are the ones who left a trail of pain, hurt and if-onlys. There comes that moment when our life is our own, regardless of who molded us, abused us, neglected us or hurt us. We have to take ownership of our filthy lives and learn how to maintain some level of “cleanliness” without blame.
It’s not easy but it’s necessary. Living a life blaming our previous owner won’t make our carpets any cleaner. Take the time to do a deep thorough cleaning, ridding your heart of the past you cling so tightly to. With that you will find a renewal that will finally make your life your own.