If You Give a Mom A Facebook

If you give a mom a Facebook, she will probably want a glass of wine as she clicks through her newsfeed.

You'll give her a glass of her favorite Pinot Grigio.

As she is drinking her glass of wine, she will see beautiful pictures of all her skinny highschool. classmates. It will remind her that she is wearing pajamas and that her hair hasn't been washed in two days and is in a ponytail.

She will probably decide to dye her hair.

You'll have to go to the store to get the perfect shade of blonde.

When you return, you will probably find her digging through a box of old pictures, searching for a photograph of what she really looked like at 17.

Seeing herself at 17 will remind her of dying her hair.

She will ask you to do it.

While you are dying her hair, she will practice her poses for a new profile picture to put on her Facebook.

She will probably notice all the wrinkles in her forehead and ask you for some botox moisturizer.

When you give her some botox moisturizer she will probably ask you to fix her hair.

Her new hairstyle will remind her that her clothes are ridiculously out of date. So she will want to rummage through her daughter's closet to find something cool to wear.

She just might find the perfect blouse.

When she tries it on she is insanely aware of the sag and size of her boobs.

This will probably remind her that she needs to get a mammogram soon. So she will ask you to go get her phone.

As she is setting a reminder, she might accidently hit her camera app.

This might remind her that she needs to upload a new and imporoved Facebook profile picture.

She will probably ask you to take her photo.

When she poses for her new pic she might accidently knock over her glass of wine. So she will ask you for another.

And chances are, if she is drinking another glass of wine, she's probably going to get on Facebook.

{Inspired by If you give a Pig a Pancake by author Laura Numeroff and Illustrator Felicia Bond}

;

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s