I tend to spend a disproportionate amount of time reading about writing to actually writing. It is something I do. I tell myself I am not an expert yet so I should study my craft more. I tell myself I don't have any real inspiration so my writing will be dull, lifeless and uninspiring. Days go by with self conviction that I should go just a few more days, just to be safe.
Then days like today fall upon me, and I just can't NOT write. Writing is, in a sense who I am, and if I go too long without it, it would be equivalent to me going a day without a Coke. That would be tragic, not only for me, but for everyone around me. I'm an addict like that.
Sometimes I don't have much to write about. The thoughts swirling about in my head don't quite translate from my fingertips to the keyboard in the way they articulate in my pea-sized mind. But I have to write.
Somedays I feel this way about Jesus. I read more of the Bible than I actually live out. It's easier to read about it, get that warm fuzzy feeling, maybe even get my heart racing in some passionate desire to pursue all things good and right. But by the time I shut my Bible
app, walk to the kitchen to encounter a pile of mess, then survey the shoes in the living room, and the toys on the stairs, and oh yah, I have to leave in five minutes to pick up one of the kids… My inspiration quickly vanishes.
I daily continue to tell myself I need to study more about Jesus, learn more about Jesus, but I have yet to put into practice the things I already know. I wonder if Jesus gets irritated with me. I'm certain He does. Lots of people get irritated with me–I accept that. Sincerely, He must wonder why I want to know more when I'm not even doing what I already know to do. As if I'm going to read one line, one day, and everything is going to finally come together and I will have all the passion and knowledge to accomplish what is needed in my life to do the work of Jesus.
Sometimes I think He wants me to do what I already know, like loving my neighbor, or my enemy. Or like taking care of widows and orphans. Or feeding the poor, or forgiving my father. Or like praying without ceasing or submitting to my husband.
I am certain I should daily read my Bible
app so I can know the voice of Jesus, but I think there are days to just do what I am told in both my writing and my walk with Jesus. Faith without actions is dead–faith in myself and faith in Jesus.