So today is the first day without my daughter. Yesterday with every bit of courage I could find in me, I drove away and left her to train and prepare to do missions work in Barahona, Domincan Republic. With just a flutter of fear in my heart, I looked back, but she didn’t.
Never have I felt this way, ever. Pride, sadness, fear, love all tangled to create streams of tears that I just couldn’t hold back. The thought of her getting hurt, the thought of her maturing and growing up and moving away. The thought of her developing even more independence–the thought of her not needing me anymore.
I woke up this morning to this text message from her:
I miss you but I’m having a good time. Please don’t worry about me. You’re a great mom. I’ll try to text as often as I can I love you with all my heart mommy and I’ll be ok. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxox 🙂
So as I’ve gone through the day with my heart in my throat, I realize that all of this emotion and heartbreak I am experiencing is just because I’m a great mom. I have always encouraged her to be bold and deeply compassionate for people. When she has feared going to parties or being the only one, I have pushed her to go anyway. When she has told me what she’s wanted to be when she grows up, I have prayed and told her to follow God’s call on her life and let her dreams be God’s dreams.
And so there she goes. Chasing after God’s plans for her, recklessly pursuing a chance to love others and change the world. And here I am, pressing into Jesus, reminding myself that He loves her more than I do–even though I can’t imagine that could be possible.
I’m not saying I’ve been the GREATEST mom, I have made my share of mistakes. But I know that I would never want to get in the way of what God has for her. And I pray as a parent, you won’t either. Because it’s painful to watch them grow away. In our selfishness and fear, we could hold them hostage to our emotional needs, but don’t.
Be a GREAT mom–
Grow them to love the LORD and trust HIM more than they trust you.
Realize that they are not you and need to find their own way.
Encourage them to know their gifts, strengths and weaknesses.
Acknowledge their fears and push them through it.
Treat them with respect by not rescuing them from every little problem that arises.
Being a great mom isn’t the easiest job, but definitely the most rewarding. My daughter is changing the world, my daughter is loving the world, my daughter has a GREAT mom!