500 Things To Do @ Walmart

If you know me at all, or even a little, you should know this:

  • I could eat pizza everyday of the week.
  • I have a terrible addiction to carbonated caffeinated beverages.
  • I don’t like to spend money on dry cleaning.
  • I HATE Walmart.

No matter how I fight it, an unhealthy proportion of my budget pours into the Walmart/Sam’s dynasty. Not only my money, but my time is wasted there. I really hate it there, sometimes I even have to pray before I get out of my car. There is no other place that requires me to exercise such self-control and patience.

It has a funny smell.

There are always too many people.

I often have to track and re-track from one end of the store to another.


But I shop there, yes I do. I am a slave of their Rollback prices and the one stop shopping experience. One of the things I hate the MOST about Walmart is the fact that they have designed 30 check out lines, but only ever have 4 open. I think Walmart Executives simply play mind games with us, trying to make us feel like they are sadly understaffed, or that Oh! My!, they just weren’t expecting that many people to shop today! Either way, it sucks. Sometimes I spend more time in line than I do actually shopping.

So I’ve created a list. 500 Things To Do While Standing In Line At Walmart. I haven’t quite hit 500, but it’s a fun game, so I thought I would share them with you.

  1. Catch up on your Email
  2. Read your weekly Blogs you follow
  3. Plan a family vacation
  4. Order pizza to meet you at your house
  5. Paint your nails
  6. Create new handshake
  7. See how long you can hold your breath
  8. Play video games
  9. Change a baby’s diaper
  10. Organize your purse or your european man bag
  11. Study for a test
  12. Eat a package of oreos
  13. Plan your next shopping trip
  14. Write an articles
  15. Read a book
  16. Start a blog
  17. Surf facebook
  18. Take a nap
  19. Read a magazines
  20. Develop new discipline practices for your kids
  21. Play cards
  22. Organize your groceries in alphabetical order
  23. Complain
  24. Prank call
  25. Add up your grocery bill
  26. Meet new friends
  27. Address your christmas cards
  28. Play the staring game
  29. Organize the candy shelf
  30. Text everyone in your contacts on your phone
  31. Call your mom
  32. Drink a soda
  33. Make a dentist appointment
  34. Braid your daughters hair
  35. Teach your kids how to dance
  36. Write your congressman
  37. Plank
  38. Design a new house
  39. Watch tv
  40. Read a book
  41. Do a bible study
  42. Meditate
  43. Pray
  44. Play 50 games of tic tac toe
  45. Exercise
  46. Get drunk
  47. Play I Spy
  48. Brush your mustache
  49. Shave
  50. Brush your teeth
  51. Take your meds
  52. Write out a greeting card to give to your cashier
  53. Play Charades
  54. Hula hoop
  55. Jump rope
  56. Read a newspaper
  57. Fix your makeup
  58. Practice math
  59. Breastfeed your baby
  60. Check your blood sugar
  61. Read labels
  62. Apply for a loan
  63. Shop online
  64. Sing a song
  65. Dance
  66. Listen to music
  67. Make fun of people
  68. Tell jokes
  69. Consider your chapstick options
  70. Calculate nutritional value of your meals
  71. Change price tag labels around
  72. Line jump
  73. Take pictures
  74. Make a video
  75. Check the weather
  76. Find the time in othr countries
  77. Learn a new language
  78. Practice an accent and use it on cashier
  79. Preach the gospel
  80. Make a new recipe with foods in your cart
  81. Ask the person in line behind you if you could have something out of their cart
  82. Put stuff in other peoples cart
  83. Pay bills
  84. Loudly talk about how much better Target is
  85. Talk really loud
  86. Pretend you have a random disease
  87. See how many sodas you can chug
  88. Sell your items out of your cart (half price)
  89. Decorate your shopping cart
  90. Clean
  91. Pluck your eyebrows
  92. Pop pimples
  93. Make your Christmas list
  94. Ask people for money
  95. Learn sign language
  96. Pretend you’re blind or deaf
  97. Pretend your a handicap
  98. Make a fast pass and try to go to the front of the line
  99. Try new candy
  100. Scrapbook
  101. Beatbox
  102. Teach someone to read
  103. Teach fire safety with lighters
  104. Teach a class
  105. Make a toll booth and charge people
  106. Keep up with the Kardashians
  107. Cut coupons
  108. Balance your checkbook

What do you do when you are standing in line at Walmart?



3 thoughts on “500 Things To Do @ Walmart

  1. Hey… you had read a book twice! Of course, that might have been intentional.. because you could probably read two by the time you leave. They actually staff the check-out lanes of the Wal Marts here.. usually.. but I still avoid it like the plague. Hit it as infrequently as possible. you could also..
    1. Have shopping cart relay races with the other people in line.
    2. Race cans.
    3. Play catch with your neighboring cart’s items.
    4. Try to sell the items from the candy display to other shoppers.
    5. Read the Gossip mags, turn to the person behind you and say “NO WAY! Did you know..?”
    6. Ask the closest woman shopper to trade purses with you.
    7. Ask the closest parent to trade kids with you.
    8. Ask the person behind you.. “Do I have a buggar hanging out of my nose?”
    9. Tell the person behind you .. “you have a little something right.. here..” and brush at the tip of your nose.
    10. Proclaim loudly ‘WAIT! IS THIS WALMART? Oh HECK no!” leave your cart and walk out.

  2. Greetings from Idaho! I’m bored to death at work so I decided to check
    out your site on my iphone during lunch break.
    I really like the knowledge you present here and can’t wait to take a look when I get
    home. I’m surprised at how quick your blog loaded on my phone ..
    I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyways, great blog!

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