Every other time or so I refresh my Facebook Homepage I get suggestions of who I should be friends with. In the last few months, this face keeps popping up, and everytime I try to ignore it, this eluding friend request brings me deeper into emotional turmoil.
I question: Should I be friends with my dad on facebook?!
My dad has never been a part of my life. I have met him a few times when I was very young, but I don’t recall much, except everyone told me that this stranger was my dad–whatever THAT meant.
A few days before my eighth birthday, my dad’s legal parental rights were terminated. My new step-dad wasn’t interested in adopting me, so at seven, I offically became fatherless. Years later, my older brother needed to know his heritage, his dna, and the answers to years of questions that were a result of all night conversations between the two of us. For a few years, there was a semi-thriving relationships between my brother and my dad (I called him a sperm donor for years, at the aggrevation of my mother, who was concerned everyone would think she was artifically inseminated or maybe even a lesbian.)
For whatever reason, the two of them had a falling out that I still don’t think has ever been really resolved. My dad just, once again, just sorta disappeared. Years later, my brother and I tried to confront him, invite him, beg him, plead him to be a part of our lives, he was never really interested.
My aunt–my dad’s sister–desired to be a part of our lives regardless of our dad’s poor choices, and so we kept in touch. She came to a birthday party for the kids once when she was town, we’ve gone to dinner. We’ve connected on Facebook.
Facebook has allowed me to connect with cousins I’ve never known, and even a step-sister that my dad raised. But now, him….
My brother, still in his heart wanting to be close to my dad, has friended him. My aunts and cousins, of course, are connected to him. So because of our common Facebook friends, I am asked every other day or so if I want my dad to be my friend?
Well of course, I do…but he hasn’t requested that friendship. So now, here is my question to you:
Should I friend my dad on facebook?
I sincerely want your thoughts and opinions. I’ve wrestled with this for months, talked with my husband and my kids, asked God what it all means….
I would love your insights…your wisdom from personal experience…your ideas. Please share them with me.
UPDATE: Ironically, I just found out that today is my dad’s birthday. ha! ( and this is one of the 2 photos I have with me and my dad together)