I took on a project I wish I never would have. I knew in the depths of my spirit that I shouldn’t accept it, my husband knew I shouldn’t accept it. It seemed right, I KNEW I could do it, and it would have great influence in the lives of lots of children, now and into the future. It was a way to live my fingerprint, it was an exciting thought, but…
I’ve struggled most of my life with understanding the difference between what I should do and what I can do. At the risk of sounding conceited, I can do most things well. It really has to do with how God created me with the need to give my best in all that I do. When it comes to planning and analyzing, teaching, encouraging, I usually have good ideas that are possible and sometimes even exciting. I can find better ways to have people stand in line, and cool ways to get your name out there. I have a vision for how to connect with kids and how to counsel people. My mind races with ideas, ideas, ideas, ideas….sometimes it’s exhausting. Not all the ideas are good, in fact some of them suck! I’m definitely not perfect and sometimes are completely off track in my thinking, but even in my suck-i-ness, I do that well, too!
I’m really trying to streamline what I should be pursuing in my life right now. My husband has a clear vision for me, but I’m not on board. I think I know what I want to do, but what I should do may be something entirely different. I’m realizing these few things:
:: The things I should do require sacrifice.
:: The things I want to do are most of the time at least partially rooted in pride.
:: God will allow me to do the things I want to do if they are the things I should do–sounds confusing, but if I’m seeking what HE wants for me life, then HIS desires become MY desires. My wants are His wants…and if they are HIS wants, than they are HIS shoulds.
So tough for me to sort through what I can do and what God wants me to accomplish–and this is a daily battle for me. I can easily get involved with too many projects–even those that are “good” may not be “right”. I have to remind myself of how not only does it stop me from accomplishing what I need to for the kingdom, but it robs someone else of their opportunity if I take their job. Oh, do I need help or do I need help? Don’t answer that!
But you can answer this: How do your sort through your wants and your shoulds? How do you know for sure if something is what God wants you to do? Or am I the only prideful, conceited “I’m doing it for God” crazy out there?