Not Needed. Not Wanted. Ever felt like that?

So I noticed how trees live in clusters. Different species, their roots knited together, in their individuality a sense of oneness. I wondered what forms these friendships, how they last, what force of nature places each particular tree next to one another.

I wondered this same thing 3 years ago when I moved from Texas to Florida. I was in a thriving community at my church, God had blessed me with a beautiful counseling and speaking ministry. And in a blink, a back ho came and uprooted me, replanting me in what felt like the desert.

I felt alone. In less than a year, my husband deployed, and I stood alone.

God blessed me with a new forest to protect me in…and now looking back, a much more authentic forest. I’ve learned something I never understood during my transplant. Friendship.

I use to sit around and say to my poor pitiful safe, “Not needed. Not wanted.” If no one needed me, then no one must want me in their life.

As my roots grew deeper in new soil, and they became intertwined with those around me, I learned that in my new environment, I was going adapt, to change. Instead of, “Not needed. Not wanted.” I had to start thinking, “Since I need them, I must tell them I want them.”

In other words, for me to build friendships, I had to be a friend first. I had to be willing to return calls, and make calls. I had to text and email and facebook. I needed to do my part to build friendships. I had to be vulnerable enough to reach out and risk rejection–and maybe even failure.

As I continue growing in my faith in God, the same is true. But with HIm, I don’t fail. I’m not rejected. And when someone doesn’t respond in the way I think they should, or even as I need them to, I quickly come to terms with the fact that there aren’t a whole lot of people out there who really know how to be a friend.

Do you know what a true friend is? Tell me about it!


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