Girls! They love to talk, and do hair and put on makeup. It’s all about clothes and jewelry and giggling with friends, well not friend[s] but maybe A friend. Young girls are limiting themselves to one Best Friend Forever and undoubtedly their will be some repercussions for this in the future for them, and for all of us.
A BFF is someone who belongs to you, is your best friend, and no one elses. She knows all your secrets, your fears and has seen you cry. She knows how to make you smile when you want to cry, and calls YOUR mom “mom,” too. When you are bored you can Oovoo her, text her, call her, Skype her, no matter what the time. You borrow her clothes, she takes your shoes. You go to school with her on the first day and come home with her on the last. She’s all yours. Until she’s not.
With the exclusivity of the BFF Club comes great consequences as well. Including jealousy if you want to hang out with some one different, and loneliness if she decides to do the same. It includes copying everything you wear, making you look like dorky twins, when you don’t want to.
More importantly, it hinders social skills by ostracizing you from friendship circles that help develop conflict resolution, compromise and team building. The BFF Club feeds the fear of stepping out of your comfort zone, trusting, and rejection. By placing all your trust in one person, you may end up lonely. Feeling alone is a main contributor to depression, eating disorders and cutting.
Having a strong rock in your life that you can depend on is necessary and what I think God wants for all of us. But by not increasing your circle, being friends to several different people, with different personalities and likes and dislikes limits a girl’s worldview.
We must challenge our girls, daughters, students to have lots of friends. To take the risk, to change the BFF Club application process. God has so much more to offer.
What are some experiences you’ve had with friendships among teenage girls? How about boys?