What I Am Learning As I Get OLD

About this time, 8 years ago, you would have found me curled up on the floor in the fetal position, weeping. As I celebrated my birthday this weekend, I was reminded how much has changed in my life, my heart, since I turned 30.

Thirty was traumatic for me.

For 29 years I told myself that 30 was old. For 29 years I set high expectations for my life. For 29 years I carried the weight of regrets, and mistakes and sin. And then I woke up and was 30. I was old, with no direction, and lots of baggage.

So I wept.

Every day…

For weeks.

weeping

My husband came home from work to find me unshowered, back against the wall, sitting on the floor in a daze. I had to get some help, I had to sort it out. If my car broke down, I’d go to a mechanic. I was a mess, I needed a shower, a washing machine and Jesus!

I dunno, I think we all go through those times in our lives, where we realize that life isn’t what we thought it would be. Someone wrote on a status on FB something like this:

“One day things will go as planned.”

I didn’t want to burst her bubble, but I really wanted to say, “Umm never. Things never go as planned.” Well not never, but almost never. And I could use the first 29 years of my life as case and point. And the last eight years to just throw it all in your face.  Nothing as planned.

I’m still wondering how my plans and God’s plans align, if ever. I think most of the time I simply stumble, and then ooopsey, I find myself some place God can use me. There is always more month than money, I find myself walking places more now than ever, I went an entire year without a haircut, I don’t know the last time I bought clothes. My husband works 70 hours a week, my kids are growing up and moving on and there are days I simply feel like I’m standing still.

But somehow, I no longer weep, I only cry a little.  I don’t curl myself in the fetal position, but there are days I do stay under the covers. I don’t live with too many regrets, only dreams that I keep pressing toward.  I don’t have it figured out, I still question God at times, and I have moments of hopelessness, Then there is God’s grace…  I find that as I am aging, I am so much more grateful for the little things:

A roof over my head

Food in my kitchen

Healthy children

I am taken care of.

Jesus loves me.

All is well.

Until I’m 40…

What are you learning as you grow older? Share with me.

LG|LP

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I Need Your Help

I want to start a movement.

I want you to help me.

It's simple, really. But at the same time it is so against what the world has, what the world offers.

It won't take much, just a little switch in thinking on our parts. A different window in which to gaze at the world.

I like the idea that we control our thoughts, and not the other way around. It's true, ya know?

All we have to do is believe in what we are called to do, and then act on our beliefs.

Jesus said to love God with everything.

Jesus said to love others.

So that's the movement I want us to start.

I want us to move God's love into the lives of anyone and everyone within our reach.

How? You ask.

By holding open doors.

By putting your phone away when you are checking out at the grocery store and talking to your cashier. Ask him how his day is going. Tell her that you like her earrings.

Smile at people.

Say thiank you.

Let people ahead of you in traffic, and wave a friendly hello.

Act with love.

Stop acting with impatience, selfishness and discontent.

Move God's love.

To anyone who crosses your path.

We are starting it. And we are starting it now. We are doing it together… and we are going to share our stories about how commiting to moving God's love makes a difference, not just in other's lives, but in ours.

Are you in? Comment and join the movement!

LG|LP

If You Are A Human Being, Read This

I am about to give you your job as a Human Being this week. Not just a Christian, or a woman, or a man. This isn't a job for just those in ministry or those who are close to Jesus. This charge is not limited to a day or even every day of the week. This is not about getting paid, or fulfilling your calling, or purpose or living out your giftedness.

If you are a Human Being, your job is to

MOVE GOD'S LOVE INTO THE LIVES OF ANYONE AND EVERYONE WITHIN YOUR REACH.

WHY? WHY?!

Because Christians are getting their heads chopped off for loving Jesus.

Because innocent, unarmed kids are being shot.

Because the homeless population is growing.

Because people are being shipped to countries in freight containers.

Because teenagers are setting themselves on fire for 3 seconds of fame.

Because children are being sold and traded.

And your neighbors marriage is falling apart. The lady you sit next to at work, her daughter ran away this weekend. Your son has tried drugs and you don't even realize it. The lady with all the groceries behind you at the store hasn't been able to buy groceries for her kids for 6 weeks because her ex-husband hasn't paid his child support. The guy who cut in line at Starbuck's isn't thinking straight because his wife was just diagnosed with cancer.

If you are a Human Being, move God's Love.

You are the way it is moved.

You are the life that breathes it.

You are the reason someone will feel God's presence for the first time, or again, or in that exact moment it is needed.

Move.

God's.

Love.

You can inspire others on Instagram with #theglovemovement. Follow us at theglovemovement !!!

I’ve Tricked You

I go on these rollar coaster rides of blogging. For days and days I will post, post, post away with all my brillance and knowledge and wisdom and insight. Then something happens…and it stops. This time, it stopped for an entire month. I just needed to refuel. I am always in need of refueling.

All this time I’ve tricked you into thinking I’m something I’m not. I haven’t done this on purpose. In fact it took me years to figure this out about me. And so here is the BIG secret. The BIG trick…

I am an introvert

Yes it’s true. I actually prefer to be alone, I refuel in my solitude and there are times I just need to sit on my couch. Not because I’m lazy but because I’m an introvert.

For those of you who know me, you are thinking, “NO way!” But see here is the deal, just because I’m not shy, doesn’t mean I’m extroverted. In certain situations, I can shake hands and hug. I can lead groups and speak in front of thousands of people. I like being around people, I love hearing stories, and meeting new faces. But eventually there is a price to pay…and usually the cost is a week or so curled up in bed with a book, or chilin’ on the couch with the remote and a large Coke.

I’ve learned that blogging is a victim of the introverted world I battle with. I can write all day, in fact it’s one of the ways I process things, and refuel. But blogging is a different world. Blogging requires me to connect with the social media universe. If I want anyone to read it, I have to be the colorful bird in the twitter-verse, promoting and marketing. Tweet Tweet. I have to Facebook and connect with people throuh comments and online conversation. I sometimes hold my breath, those days I think I’m super brilliant, every time I look at my stats.

It’s exhausting.

Especially for an introvert.

So I take these breaks, and sometimes these longer sabbaticals. And then after I refuel, I am ready to get back to writing and connecting and sharing my thoughts. And I’ll do great, until I can’t anymore. I’m working through how to fix this. I have so much wisdom to share with the world (sense the sarcasm). Thank you for sticking with me and still reading my snippets on life. And forgive me?for not being such a great friend?

Are you introverted or extroverted? Comment so we can chat–I really want to know…and want to know you better! I’m changing, I’m growing. I need you to help me with that….

How has it affected you most? Can’t wait to know…

 

 

I FOUND YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE

At the beginning of the year I signed up for a Women's Bible Study at a local mega church located smack in the middle of the upper class of town. I wanted to go with a friend, I wanted to make more friends. It was the only thing I knew to do to make myself get off my growing-larger-butt at least once week. I deserved to wear clean clothes on Tuesdays.

I entered into the estrogen pep rally with as much postive-i-ty as I could squeeze out of my soul to find the kind smiles of women, garbed in Lilly Pulitzer carrying their Michael Kors bags. I found it comical when the leader announced that last sessions complaints were about worship and that there wasn't enough protein options on the snack table. I wasn't sure how I felt about either, honestly.

Then we were asked to do this exercise where we picked a word to focus on during the year. I actually had already been thinking of this, because it's big in the blogosphere of the Christian-girl. Some picked obedience (good luck), one lady picked humility (ha-ha!) and another patience (to which internally I screamed NOOOOO, trying to save her from the mistake she was making. All Christians KNOW to never ask God for patience)! Then it was my turn.

Mine was simply Love.

I am certain all the women were wondering what type of evil person I was that I had to focus on love. But I knew I had to learn to love again because, frankly, for the last few months, since we moved, I pretty much hated everything.

I hated church. (Yah, I said it!)

I hated this city.

I hated our circumstances.

All in all, I hated life.

True story. I hated it.

And my life wasn't all that bad. I lived in a nice house (still do). I have a husband who adores me (who in the world knows why, I'm not easy to love). I have kids who spend time with the family, don't use drugs, make good grades and love Jesus. (Seriously, though, I'm waiting to see how I've screwed them up).

But still, my heart was filled with this black, dark regret and unbelief. I figured if I learned to love God with a new passion and His people with a clear heart, then I would be okay once again. So I decorated my cute little heart stamped bookmark with the word — L.O.V.E. And with every intention to love once again.

Since then, I am simplifying my life, and God is flushing out my idea of purpose. And in the meantime, I still find it hard to get off the couch somedays, and I still cry to my husband, because I am, after all, a crybaby (Seriously, I am).

“Wah, Wah, I have no purpose.”

“Wah, Wah, I have no friends.”

“Wah, Wah, God has forgotten me.”

Wah.

Wah.

Wah.

My husband told me in so many words, to suck it up, put on my cape and get to saving people.

When my girlfriend asked me what I did all week, I told her, “Ohhh, just fighting the devil.”

Cuz sister, that is so what it is! When we want to love, the devil wants us to hate. When we want to be patient, the devil wants us to demand things. When we want to be humble, we have all the reason in the world to be boastful. And when we want more of Jesus, the devil tells us that it's the things of the world we need that really satisfy.

Lies. Lies and more lies. And I think I washed them away with all these tears I've cried over this last year.

So currently, I am ironing my cape, because there are people in this world, in my world, that need some Jesus-saving-love. This is my job (to love, not save) and the simplified version of yours:

Move God's Love into the lives of anyone and everyone within your reach.

The God's-Love Movement

#theglovemovement

 

Let's do this! Just look around you, and notice. God will do the rest. Comment and share your thoughts— you think you can be a way that God moves His love this week??