I Don’t Think You REALLY Want to Change

I hate the process of change…all of it. Even when I try to stay motivated and positive I often just have my panic attacks, just somewhat more quietly. I’m reading this book..well more, reading a paragraph and then when I feel convicted, I throw it across the room.  It’s about change…and accepting it, and even more so, embracing it, or even more more so, capitalizing on it.




macro closeup of a thesaurus entry on the word "change"

But really, it’s an everyone problem. We don’t really want to change. We want the perks, the benefits, the effects of change, but we don’t ACTUALLY WANT to change. Change is painful, change is uncomfortable. We like our traditions and our habits. We are content with our ways.

The moment someone challenges us, our ideas or the way we’ve always done things, we go on attack. We must protect ourselves from the uncomfortable, the painful. We tear others down, we attack their character and their credentials. We stand solid on our very old ground, not only embracing our traditions, but defending them.

As we face changes and new ideas, and even new possibilities, we marinate in the ideas of how it was, or how it should be– if only.

The Pharisees.  They argued with Jesus, and questioned his authority. They trashed his character, and twisted truth and refused to listen because they were …




Jesus. He brought a new message of freedom. He brought people out of the trash and gave them, not character, but righteousness. He revealed truth and listened to the hurting.  He brought the authority of heaven to earth. He challenged the ways, the culture, the theology of the time. He made people




Where are you? Are you in a place where you like comfortable and traditional? Is it too hard to exercise? Too difficult to have that needed disagreement with your spouse? Afraid of how your kids will respond when you set those boundaries?  So it’s just easier.  It works, somehow. But not everything that works is right… and even if it’s not “wrong” …. it’s not always God’s best.

Our goal in life should be God’s best…and God’s best for us in the transformed life. A life that is daily being renewed. He wants to renew our thoughts, and even our desires. Did you know that God can transform your desires? Your desires for smoking, or alcohol, or pornography? Did you know God can renew your marriage, and your relationship with your kids? God is waiting to transform every area of your life…but He won’t do it unless you accept the risk The risk of being uncomfortable. The risk of living in respect for God and not people. Do you really want that change?

I hope so. I hope you are willing to listen to the truth found in Scripture. I pray that you see that the results of the change, having confidence that the end result of the transformation will bring freedom and life…

and peace…

and joy…not just happiness, but joy–real joy…

and safety…..

and assurance…

and love…oh! the love!

Jesus is in the business of change…If you want Him, want the change He can bring to your life.

Do you fight against change like I do??  What’s the hardest change you’ve ever been through? Comment and share!



Why Cliques Don’t Disappear After High School

cluelessI hated high school. Dude, did I hate it. So much,  that the moment I discovered I could drop out, get my GED and go straight to college, I ran as fast as I could to sign up. I was an emotional mess and high school was daunting for me. My school educated approximately 3,600 students, 980 of which were in my future graduating class. I hated  feeling lost, I wasn’t challenged in my studies, and spent most of my time utterly confused.

What was hardest on me was the cliques. I was tall, awkward and to say I lacked confidence is a severe understatement. I constantly compared myself to other girls, tried my hardest to find my place, but I only found myself even more misplaced. The girls were ruthless, and loved only those who loved them. Those girls who were my friends in middle school found other places and spaces and boyfriends and activities. I simply roamed the halls, skipped classes, and felt alone.

Ironically, one of my favorite no-brainer movies is Mean Girls. It’s a story of a girl who moves to public education aftspartaner being homeschooled by her missionary parents in Africa. She discovers the hatred & the treachery of the realities of the clique. Oh and then there is Clueless…and of course our favorite SNL Skit with Will Ferrell….

And then there is the Breakfast Club. The absolute quintessential high school movie about cliques, and how at the end of the day…the end of a day at Saturday detention, we are all pretty much the same. This whole idea of exclusion is a universal struggle among all people. I felt like the poster child.

High school was tough and I thought by escaping the hallways, I would escape what I hated the most about them.  One of my Besties and I have had several conversations in the last few weeks about how our problems follow us no matter which state we attempt to escape to….or which school we try and ditch, or job we quit. I remember my first job in corporate America. I discovered rather quickly that high schoomean girlsl antics don’t go away after high school, they simply follow us. The haunting of the clique just seems to never go away…not even in the church.

It’s interesting to me how the entire ministry of Jesus was centered around abolishing the cliques, destroying the idea of exclusivity and challenging people to open their hearts to the least, the confused, the emotional mess. In the Kingdom of God, everyone has a place and it is one of honor. Yet within the Christian community, I witness these groups of people that sometimes seem impenetrable. The same women attend the same Bible studies, the same recovery people attend their groups. There are those who belong to this small group and those who belong to that volunteer group. And everyone has the same group of people they say hi to every week. We tend to only talk to those select neighbors, and those select friends. Seems we have missed the point completely!

We just don’t have time for everyone.

It’s just so uncomfortable.

We want church to be ours.

We want our evenings to be relaxing.

Three or four friends are enough.

We are afraid.

We are too worried about ourselves.

The reasons, the excuses, the rationale, all of it convince us that the safety of our clique is justified, because we are Christians doing life with other Christians.  It’s convoluted, and it’s not Biblical.

We must love everyone, and we must do it intentionally. We must go out of our way. Jesus went out of His way to love me, to give me a place to belong. After years of feeling alone, and even times now when it seems I have no place, I find a place in Him.  There are so many–lots of people–who need for once to NOT feel as if they are outside of the clique. It has to start with us. When Jesus called us to love others, it wasn’t intended to be from a distance. That command was so that we can love others in a way that make us uncomfortable, that forces us to depend on Him, that requires much of us.

Go to a different Bible Study.

Go outside after dinner and take a walk, and talk to your neighbors.

Invite your co-worker to sit with you at lunch.

Say hello to the lady at the grocery store.

We can never have enough friends.

Have that family over for dinner.

Everyone wants to be included.

Why do we love Facebook? Because anyone and everyone is there. Why do we want our kids to play for the YMCA? Everyone gets to play and everyone gets a trophy, everyone is included.

The cliques won’t disappear, but you can choose to not be a part of them anymore. You can choose to include and accept everyone. You can offer the love of Christ to every. single. person. within your reach. You have absolutely no idea who just might need it…it might be me, it might, in fact, be you.



How To Build Relationship with Kids to Change the Faith of Families.

I live in a large, interconnected neighborhood. In order to save money on school bus service, schools tend to be plopped down right in the middle or our community. At the end of the day bell, the streets are flooded with kids. First elementary school, then half an hour later the middle-schoolers.

Tons of kids, even more families, just waiting for us–the church.


That’s all I saw that day, a bunch of teenagers who needed Jesus. I wondered how many of them went to church. I wondered how many of these kids who went to church ever invited other kids. I thought of how Christians are pulling their kids out of schools, pulling Jesus out of schools, and I was saddened at the thought. (But that’s a post for another time.)

When  I lived in Florida, one day I drove into our gated community at the same time the bus was dropping kids off. I counted them. Fifteen. There were 15 kids, and I knew their stories. I could have invited them to church, but they wouldn’t have come. Instead, I brought church to them. The first week I ordered pizza, twelve kids showed up to eat the free food and hear about Jesus. The next week we grew, and the next and the next. There were nights I had 40 kids piled on top of each other in my living room, just dying to hear, dying for community, dying for connection.

I find that kids, including teens are willing to take responsibility for their own faith apart from their parents. We need to find ways to connect with kids even if parents aren’t willing to come to church. In fact, we can change the entire trajectory of faith in Jesus in families through kids and their faith. It isn’t going to happen with a single event, or with flyers on doorknobs. People need real connection, real relationship and that takes time.

Here are some ways to minister to families through kids:

1. SCHOOL INVOLVEMENT: whether you are in PTA, or just show up to a class party, getting to know kids and begin building friendship with them is a great start.

2. OUTSIDE TIME: When you see a group of kids outside, or you have a park near your house, get off your couch and go play some basketball.  One of the things I try and do as much as possible is walk to pick up my 4th grader. I talk to his classmates, give fist bumps and high fives. Sometimes I even end up with groups of kids around me as we walk and talk together. Not only am I getting to know them,  most of these kids are going home alone and I can offer a sense of security for their walk home.

3. GAMES: Go to local highschool or middle school games and get to know kids names and start conversations with parents.

4. BLOCK PARTY: throw a block party with hot dogs and juice boxes in your front yard. Have a few games out or a football. It’s a great way to get to know the kids in your hood.

And I wish I didn’t have to say this, but have some boundaries when hanging out with kids. Don’t friend them on Facebook, or ever be alone with any of them. As you begin to build friendships, make sure other kids and adults are around as you spend time with them.

The reality is, not every child or family will come to church with just an invite, but we can always bring Jesus to them, through our kindness and acts of love, and showing them how much we care.

What are some ways you have or you can start building relationships with kids in your neighborhood? Comment and  share your ideas. 

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Robin Williams, Heaven & preaching the Gospel

When I think Robin Williams, I think big muscles and spinach. I think sailor suit. I think Popeye. Popeye is how I see Robin Williams. Strong and confident and in love with Olive Oyl. Never ever did we think that Popeye, or Peter Pan or Mrs. Doubtfire would take his own life, which is currently the rumor. Battling addiction and depression, at 63 the comedian and actor decided he just couldn’t take this life anymore.

Yesterday, all forms of social media was on fire with pictures, stories, memories, shock and grief. There were prayers sent up for the family, and genuine tears cried over the idea that such an outwardly happy person would take their own life. No one can truly attest to the condition of his heart. We don’t know about his faith in Christ. So that leaves questions.

As a Christian how do we handle this? How do we handle the reality of darkness of an iconic person who shaped several generations with his personality, wit and talent, not to mention his genuine love for people and support of our troops? How do we balance the idea that good is not good enough? By not knowing for sure if Robin Williams was saved, how do we wrap our minds around the possibility that he may not be in heaven? That even though he may have spent his life contributing good to this world, that he may not spend his eternity in the presence of Christ?

And how do we speak truth to people, the truth that Hell is real? When do we act in love, and when do we use situations like this as a way to show people the preciousness of life?

I’m asking these things because I really want to know your thoughts?

No doubt what has happened to Robin Williams is tragedy. The tragedy is that out of all the joy he brought into the world, he couldn’t find any of his own. The tragedy lies in that for a moment in his living, he felt the only way to end his pain was to end his life. The tragedy IS the lies that he chose to believe: that he was unworthy, unloved, and it was unnecessary for him to continue in this world.

But as a person who believes not only in a loving God but an equally just God, I wonder how we handle the idea that Robin Williams might not have been saved by grace. How do we discuss it with our unbelieving friends? How to we show that equality of God’s attributes in a way where they can see the amazing-ness of His sacrifice for us, and that the sacrifice was not only love but justice?

Some think we just preach truth with the scriptures that talk about the consequences of not following Christ and eternal damnati.on Some want to focus only on the love of Jesus: The grace of Jesus. The mercy of Jesus.

But God is both…

what do we do about it? Because doing nothing is not an option.

Share your thoughts with me…. (With kindness, please, this could be a tough subject to tackle)

How To Live Recklessly: Lessons From A 3 Year Old

Anyone who knows me knows that I love me some kids. Adults can get on my nerves, with their well thought out opinions, thinking they know what they are talking about. Kids, most of the time, actually do know what they are talking about. Kids are so much better.

Yesterday I spent the day in the Fiesta Texas water park with my youngest and two nephews. For hours, me and this little were BFF’s.

Fearlessly, he ran through water, climbed up rope ladders and swam deeper and deeper. We walked into the pool, that gradually got deeper as you walked into it. With every step, his little heart raced, becoming more and more excited at the adventure that lied ahead. I wised up pretty quickly and rummaged through to find a small enough life vest. He moved his little arms and legs as fast as possible, not knowing that it was me who actually propelled him forward.

He was swimming.

Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. ”

As we reached the shallower areas, he would just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. I would say, “Blake, put your feet down.”

He realized he could touch the bottom.

He would jump, jump, jump, letting his vest bob him along the shoreline.

Then off he would swim.

When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified, “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

After three hours in this pool we trekked to the wave pool–and for anyone who has been at Fiesta Texas and pushed a stroller from the bucket play area to the wave pool know the trek I’m talking about. Oh, my friend, I’m thankful to not have to use a stroller any more.

The waves encouraged a whole entirely new level of courage in that little person. He bobbed along, jumping, allowing the waves to push him in and out, up and down. The waves would get the best of him, and he found himself under the water. I would say, “Blake, you have to hold my hands.”

His little fingers would grasp tightly around mine, rebuilding his trust in himself, knowing I would not let him go.

The water would come crashing, forcing out giggles and wonder.

One little hand would surrender.

Then the other.

Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, ‘tell me to come to you on the water.”

He would bob along, and closely I stood, as he was determined to master the pool himself. The water would come crashing…and again I would gently remind him, “Blake, You have to hold my hands.”

Come,” he said.

Then he would see “the Guys” splashing and playing several feet away.

“Guys! Guys!” he would yell, quickly letting go of me, his safety, and “swimming” as fast as he could toward the big guys, ignoring the crashing of the waves that threatened to fall upon him.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.

Oh I want to be like Blake, like the child Jesus wants me to remain.

I want to move my arms and legs as fast as I can, knowing Jesus is guiding me forward, closer to him, closer to fulfilling all he has for me.

I want to run as fast as I can, not even knowing I can put my feet down to walk.

I want to jump out of the boat when I hear the voice of Jesus, letting go of all I know that I know is safe, ignoring the crashing of the waves, recklessly ignoring what my mind would see as treacherous.

Everyday, I want to pursue Him so fiercely that I am completely exhausted from the joy of being in his presence.

Kids are so much better. Live Reckless. -Tiff