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FREE | STRESSED OUT KIDS WORKSHOP
Saturday, October 6, 2012
10:30-12:00
1906 Bloomingdale Ave
Valrico, Fl 33596
INVITE YOUR FRIENDS!
REGISTER HERE
An Interactive Workshop focusing on
- Why our kids are so Stressed
- How we know if our kids are Stressed
- How Stress affects their behavior
- What we can do to help kids with Stress
A Workshop For
Parents
Teachers
Volunteers
Ministry Leaders
Childcare Workers
PARENTING: The Fear in Not Knowing
The “I Don’t Know Girl” evolves quietly and slowly. As kids face more and more pressure to be accepted and perfect, and more and more rejection if they do something wrong, their ability to make decisions slowly dwindle. The “IDK Girl” struggles with self confidence which encourages individuality.
The fear of making the wrong choice will lead to the possibility of being ridiculed or looked down on. If a teenager says, I want to eat _______ and her friends don’t like that idea, then maybe she will feel like an outcast.
If she likes something on her pizza like anchovies or pineapple, she may hear judgement, she may hear, “gross!” If what I like is gross, then what I am is gross, perhaps??
If the IDK girl wears the wrong thing to school, she fears not measuring up. The WRONG shoes, a shirt NOT bought from the RIGHT place, a purse NOT costing $200.
The pattern here: teenage girls want to fit in, even at the expense of not having their own identity. I see a growing pattern in girls working hard to create a NON-identity, simply wanting to blend in, even mortified if they stand out in any way. Individuality comes at a high price. But so does not being yourself. Constant fear ends up controlling every thought of the young girls of the Y generation.
Fear of rejection
Fear of failure
Fear of judgement
Fear of ridicule
Fear of being alone
Have you experienced girls being judged for trying to establish their individuality?
What do you think is going to happen in adulthood for these girls?
6 Year Old Girl Handcuffed for Tantrum
A six year old was handcuffed and taken down to the police station for throwing a tantrum in Kindergarten My STRESSED OUT KIDS Workshop addresses why kids do this, and how to handle it! You should consider hosting an event at your facility. For parents, for your volunteers, for your staff–STRESSED OUT KIDS are in growing numbers, and it’s a heart issue, not a behavior issue!
I can help!
How to Bounce Back
Yesterday my youngest was so utterly upset with one of the neighborhood kids. During a disagreement, Zac was called a baby, repeatedly, and that didn’t set well with my almost 5 foot 7 year old. In the aftermath, arguably my most dramatic child, Zac claims that he will never be able to play outside EVER AGAIN. That he will NEVER EVER have friends in the neighborhood. That he will have to stay inside the house FOREVER because of this infantile disagreement.
I just breathe and say, “that would be a bummer” and then go about my business.
Present day…
“Hey mom, can my friend come in. We made out!”
“Excuse me?” I replied.
“Well, we didn’t make out,” with a grin, “we apol…we said we were sorry.”
“Oh ok, so you’re friends again?” I asked
“Well, of course!” Zac replied.
I didn’t have any doubt that they would quickly make up. I see this all over the neighborhood all the time. The first fight Zac got into in the neighborhood was with a kid he stuck up for in a fight a few weeks later. That’s just what kids do.
They easily forgive, without holding a grudge. They suspect the best in each other, genuinely desiring to make amends. Kids are able to see the value in their friendships, and understand the great loss that would be felt if that friendship was lost. With that, kids have more fun, they laugh and smile more, they engage more. The live more.
If only we could learn to forgive so easily, wanting to give our best to others. If only we could be willing to be understanding to others, and value who people are, not just what they have to offer. If only we could bounce back like kids do…then maybe we could live a little more.
How about you? Do you bounce back easily, or are you a grudge-holder?
Parent’s Job: Ensure Happiness
One of the worst feelings in the world for me for a parent is watching my child absorb the hurts of this world, while I sit in the sidelines with my hands tied behind my back. Since I like to think of myself as the connection-ninja of all mothers, the heart-wrenching pain my kids endure is amplified for me when no matter how fast my moves, I can’t dry their tears fast enough.
The hard-hitting reality is that there are pains our kids must suffer that we can’t do anything about–and aren’t suppose to do anything about. These are some of the biggest lies we’ve believed as a generation of parents:
- My child should be happy, and I am responsible for that happiness.
- The disappointments and pains of this world should not affect my child.
- If my child is not comfortable, I am in some way failing as a parent.
- If my child is not content, I must create some sort of distraction in order to calm them down.
- If I discipline my child, I will suffer the pain of that consequence and I’d rather not.
No where in the Bible does God call us to ensure happiness, comfort, or contentment for our children. Our jobs include:
- Helping children embrace all of the emotions that God gave us.
- Bestowing wisdom that originates from the Word of God.
- Preparing them for the trials and difficulties that are guaranteed in this world.
- For pushing them out of their comfort zone so they can depend on God more and me less.
- And providing loving and appropriate discipline for character growth and spiritual development.
Easier said than done, I know. But it is necessary for us as parents to challenge ourselves and our kids to becoming more like Christ. So when my daughter’s tears are falling like a waterfall, I can only hug her, perhaps shed a few tears of my own, and offer all the love I can find in my being so that she knows that she is not alone in this world. But helping her to cover her pain, ignore it, or pacify it so that I can feel like I’m a good parent gets in the way of God teaching her His sovereignty and His grace–two shoes I will never be able to fill, even in all my ninja-ness.
Confession time: How do you try and pacify for your child into comfort and happiness–in an unhealthy or healthy way?
