Friend Me Follow Me Love Me 

If you know me … You know I’m not a huge fan of Twitter.  I have a Twitter and tweet occasionally but it’s just a little too much self promotion for me. 

But then there is PERISCOPE and I think I might be in love.  The blogging world is very static-y right …there are so many.  So. Many.   

But PERISCOPE! It gives me the chance to voice my thoughts on the go–no filter-no editing.   And if you can watch live, awesome! If not .. There it is for you to watch later!  

It’s simple to use and catching on.  Head over and die laid the PERISCOPE app.  Then follow me tj_crawford!   

Hope to meet you there!!! 

God Just Keeps on Saving You…

I love the movie THE GUARDIAN with Ashton Kutcher and Kevin Costner. According to reviews it’s “COMPELLING and HEROIC!”  That’s something!  The film is about this young kid, Kutcher, who is an excellent swimmer with a tragic past who is training to be a rescue swimmer under the best rescue swimmer ever in the history of ever, Costner. Under Costner, Kutcher works hard on his physical skills, but more so his emotional problems.  They have a budding father/son thing going on, learning from each other and growing and all that crap.  Which is great and all but what I get hooked on in movies like this is all the physical stuff.



I think I’m always in awe of what Rescue Swimmers, or Army Rangers or Seals or whoever, are willing to endure to train for a moment where they can die. So these Coast Guard rescue swimmers in the movie (and in real life, I’m sure) jump into crazy waters to rescue someone, anyone, from their nearing death. They fly out in helicopters and jump fro the sky in search for the lost….they risk their own lives, because someone else’s life matters.

It’s so Jesus.

He so rescues us.

Now that I have these amazing daughters who are in college, (3 of them) I often think of the times that God quite literally saved my life. I know of times I could have been jailed, or killed in accidents or murdered even because of my stupidity. And then there are the times that I don’t even realize that He rescued me and honestly, that I may never know…how He hovered over me and searched for me, and jumped in the waters for me.

And He continues to do so.

I don’t intentionally put myself in dangerous situations anymore. But even over the last few years I’ve seen how the things I prayed for, almost begged for, didn’t come to pass. And when it seemed He didn’t answer like I wanted Him to, I questioned Him. But He still kept saving.

Like in the movie, to the person being rescued, it may not make sense how the rescuer does his job. But the rescuer is going to save him anyway.

Now I can see how just recently even, He saved me from situations I would have been miserable in, or spiritually unsafe or miserable, did I mention miserable?

We often think of Jesus, the Savior, the Redeemer, who saves us from our sins and eternal hell. Yah I said it—Jesus saves us from hell! (you don’t hear that preached often). But daily, He is saving us. Always rescuing us from our stupid mistakes, our biggest failures, our thoughtless actions. He doesn’t just want  to save us from the eternal or physical, He wants to rescue us from our flesh,  so that He can gives us abundance. God is constantly rescuing us from our misguided desires, so that He ….

So that He can be glorified.

So that He can be known by us.

So that He ______( fill in the blank.)

I’m grateful for those jobs He never gave me, and removing me from that church and keeping unhealthy people out of my inner circle and changing my heart and showing me the issues of my own pride. I’m thankful for discernment and wisdom and the ability to lean on a God who is always in the business of rescuing me from myself. And people…that’s a lot of rescuing to be done.

How about you? What has he rescued you from? Comment, I want to hear your story!


I Am A Horrible Christian

I am, without a doubt, an absolute horrible Christian.

Often people see my FB posts, or even read a blog or two.  I’ve had woman who have told me how “amazing” I am to follow God the way I do.

I just laugh.

My sister-in-love mentioned to me one day, while in conversation in the car…. One day I’m going to expose you for who you really are.  Everyone out there thinks your so sugar sweet and super Christian, but little do they know.

I just laugh. It’s funny, because it’s true.

Seriously though, I’ve never meant to misrepresent myself.

I truly follow Christ.

I love Him completely with my whole heart.

Daily, I attempt to live for Him and live out my purpose in Him.

But, really, at the end of the day, I’m human…and I pretty much suck.


So for those of you who don’t know me, or don’t know the sinful side of me….allow me to confess…now keep in mind, I don’t need judgement for my confession or for what I do. Nor do I need you to tell me it’s okay, nor do I need you to be offended because of whatever reason you have.

  1. I LOVE Horrible TV Shows like Sex In The City and Will & Grace.  It’s great writing, with great characters.
  2. I sometimes, occasionally, every now and then Cuss. Almost every single day. Sometimes I even drop the “F” Bomb.  It’s definitely cleaned up in the last 20 years, no more do I hang with the sailors, but I do have a potty mouth.  My kids are constantly correcting me, when it should be the other way around.
  3. I fight with my husband. And sometimes I say mean things I can’t take back.  We are not the perfect couple. Our arguments are meaningless at times with no resolution.
  4. I hide from my kids. In a secret room, because sometimes I just can’t “mom” or meet their needs.
  5. I am HORRIBLE about finishing anything.
  6. just kidding
  7. Sometimes I just don’t understand people, so I judge them. Like seriously judge their shoes, or why they think the way they do.  And I look at them with funny faces…and they think I’m interested, but really I’m confused.
  8. I sometimes think about stealing stuff from stores.  I don’t actually do it, but I wonder if I could get away with it.
  9. I don’t always feel like talking about Jesus or sharing my “story” or witnessing or testifying…i’m okay with getting out of Walmart without even making eye contact.


We know that the list is longer and the sins deeper, because this list isn’t all that impressive or funny or shameful.  So when you see my posts or blogs or tweets and think how deep and reflective and thoughtful I am, imagine me instead, avoiding all my projects, and ignoring phone calls.  Imagine me just being a human trying to get along, without perfection, hoping for a giggle, working on cleaning my mouth out with soap.  I’m a work in progress, but aren’t we all?!





When Your Daughter Leaves For College

I was laying there in bed holding my new sweet girl.  I was alone, twenty and a new mom.  I had to pee and was in so much pain.  I didn’t know what to do.  I pushed the button.

“Yes, can I help you?”

“Umm yes, I have to use the restroom.”

“Did you need help?”

“No I just don’t know what to do with my baby.”

I’m certain the nurses at on the other end of the intercom either a. laughed hysterically at me or 2. shook their heads and murmured, “Bless her heart.”

I pulled myself up and put her in the clear plastic bassinet. I waddled to the restroom, pulling her behind me.  “don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry.”

She had never been alone. Not for a minute. She was with me for nine months and in the nursery, and now I was not going to be the one to leave her. She had to pee with me.  That’s just all there was to it.  And if she cried while I was peeing, I have no idea what I would do.

But we made it, we made it through the first night in the hospital, and learning to breastfeed.  We made it through the hours I watched her sleep and periodically poked her to make sure she was alive. We made it through a new brother, and the loss of a family because of divorce.  We made it through a new family, with new siblings. We made it through moving and tears from stupid boys. We made it through the trauma of leaving friends, and the disappointment of new schools.

And we will make it through when she leaves in two weeks to start a new life, at a college, with new friends, and new rhythms.

I’m embracing this relationship thing. This humanity thing. How changing our lives can be but our connections remain. God told us about new seasons, and to live in expectancy of them. In watching Jesus’ life, he had ever changing relationships. And still does.  One day you seek after Him, the next you fail to acknowledge him.

Humanity is about this, changing relationship thing. As our relationships transform, we are forced to as well. Sometimes I wonder if what we struggle with the most in the changing of ourselves. Wondering if we are strong enough, courageous enough to make it through.

That’s why we need a constant, a ‘never changing’. That’s why we need that thing that no matter what relationships come or go….

  • the marriage
  • the girlfriend who ditches you
  • the death of a parent
  • the sister who just wont’ talk to you
  • how she just doesn’t look at you the same anymore
  • how he just doesn’t want to be best friends with his mom
  • the business partner that betrays you
  • the daughter who leaves for college

He will be that  constant, the forever, unchanging…the timelessly faithful.  God knew this humanity he created would be always transforming, so He himself forever remains.  Be courageous, when everything changes, He is there.